idk why people take me so seriously i never even know what im saying
how do you get a nice body without moving
we joke about procrastination but nothing is worse than the nauseating feeling of having every intention of doing something but physically not being capable of doing it and then feeling like you want to throw up because the deadline is just getting closer and closer.
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus
y’all need jesus
- me at age 9: omg i cant wait to be a teenager, getting drunk and partying 24/7 with all my friends!!!!
- me as a teenager: who the fuck just unfollowed me
pepper never got her meatloaf :(
me trying to reach my goals in life